Friday, May 28, 2010


I love to laugh. I mean who doesn't. Today at work my co-workers had me in stitches. I was dying. Then the phone rang. I answered "So and So's office this is Liz". They said "hello, this is (insert prominent person's name here). I said "I'm good. How are you?" To which he laughed and said fine. After I got off the phone I said "I am a dumb." I guess when I laugh a lot my brain gets mushy.

I am just in one of those moods.

I need to go home and watch Monty Python

or Clue.

"Laughter and tears are both responses to frustration and exhaustion. I myself prefer to laugh, since there is less cleaning up to do afterward." ~ Kurt Vonnegut

"Laughter is inner jogging." ~ Norman Cousins

"Shared laughter creates a bond of friendship. When people laugh together, they cease to be young and old, teacher and pupils, worker and boss. They become a single group of human beings." ~ W. Lee Grant

"I was irrevocably betrothed to laughter, the sound of which has always seemed to me to be the most civilized music in the world." ~ Peter Ustinov

"May your walls know joy; May every room hold laughter and every window open to great possibility." ~ Maryanne Radmacher-Hershey

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Crying Shame

I find it ironic that the first post after "Eternal Optimist" is about crying. My life is full of irony, I embrace it.

Some days you just need to cry. The other day was my day. I left work after breaking down and decided to pick Sam up early because that would make his day. So I go to the school office thinking I have dried my face, cleared my eyes. They send Sam down from his class and I wait for him in the hall. He takes one look at me and says, "Why are you crying?" I am not currently crying, he could at least use the past tense. Kids are so observant. I told him some days I cry. Today is one of those days. He said something like 'as long as it isn't about me go ahead'. Made me laugh.

The day did not necessarily get any better but that is not the point. The point is crying can be cathartic. Not the wailing, gnashing of teeth crying I think that just gives a person a headache. But releasing the emotion. Letting it go. Do-some-yoga kind of crying. Crying occasionally is good for the soul. The next day I woke up to the gentle sound of rain pattering on my window feeling better than I have in days. See - crying works.

Then today at work a very wise man told me "There is a difference between pondering on a problem and worrying. Pondering invites the spirit, worry weighs you down."

I liked it.

I have been a little discouraged with my weight loss goals. I try so hard and yet I seem to fail. A lot. My relationship with food is not healthy. Not to mention the fact that I don't cook. People always give me these great healthy recipes but unless I can make it in 20 minutes (or less) AND it is made of stuff that doesn't rot in the fridge it just ain't gunna happen. People, I sit at a desk ALL DAY LONG. I love my job but sometimes I just want to throw the computer across the room and flea. But these are just excuses. I know that.

You know what grates? My boss is doing weight watches with his wife. He hardly even tries. He only watches his points because his wife makes him report and he has lost over 20 pounds. He needs to buy new suits he has lost so much weight. I know it is unwise to compare myself with anyones weight loss let alone a man because they loose weight faster and easier but come on. He isn't even trying!

But I am not giving up, failure is not an option. The funny thing is I have tried in the past to loose weight but I kept my goals very close to myself for one reason and one reason only. I hate to fail. So telling people about my goals has been difficult but good. I am not kidding. Failure is not an option.

Thursday, May 13, 2010

Eternal Optimist

So I am not saying that I am an eternal optimist, although my dad did call me "Little Miss Mary Sunshine" when I was a kid. Sometimes I choose to be negative but it rarely makes me feel better. Usually I feel worse. Sometimes I cry or get angry about things that are out of my control. So much of my life feels like it is completely out of my control. But, really, being all grumpy about it does what? Nothing. Exactly. So why be all gloomy? I was talking to my sister and she told me about a woman she knows who complains about everything. I have known people like this in my life and usually I just want to avoid those kinds of people. I would rather look life in the face, laugh and move on.

I heard from somewhere (I know amazing with my references) that George Washington made a list of things he needed to work on and every morning he would remind himself of what was on the list and every night he would review and reflect on how successful he was at accomplishing his goals. I thought about how character is built through work, day by day with conscious effort.

I want my friends and family to think of me as a positive person, not to say that I will be fake because some days are just plain crappy but that I try to look on the bright side of things. The whole 'sun will come out tomorrow' attitude. One of my favorite quotes from this past conference was from Elder Hallstrom, " up is not an option ... without delay, turn to the Lord. Exercise all of the faith you have in Him. Let Him share your burden. Allow His Grace to lighten your load."

Today I have determined to find joy in my chaos, to find comfort in the rhythm of my storm tossed sea.

Thursday, May 6, 2010

Brownie Points

First, I would like to make a confession. "Hi, my name is Liz and I am a brownie-aholic."

I love brownies. I met someone once who did not like brownies. It was fortunate that I already liked this person before I knew they were anti-brownie.

I love brownies: brown brownies, blond brownies, mulatto brownies. I have no prejudices against brownies. They are all one big happy family to me. May the world have lasting peace through chocolate gooeyness.

So you are probably wondering, hmmm this girl has fallen off the weight watchers bandwagon which she only mentioned one post ago. No, never fear dear reader. I have found empowerment from a brownie. Yes it is true. So the first Thursday of random months is our staff meeting; seriously it is random, but I digress. Always at said staff meeting they produce yummy chocolaty brownies. I know this. It happens every time. Okay I think once they decided to get some other type of treat and there were riots in the halls. So I prepared, saved, planned so I could eat a brownie. And I ate one. It felt great to eat a treat I love AND to know that it is not going to set me back. Not going to hurt my life long goal of being healthy. Strange how planning to eat a brownie could make me feel so capable of reaching my weight loss goals. Nevertheless and not withstanding that was the feeling produced. Then I ate salad for lunch and fruit. Yummy fresh pineapple and watermelon.

So I learned a great lesson today. I can eat what I want (albeit it sparingly) if I want it bad enough. Empowered by a brownie, who knew.

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

A Weight Watcher's Way of Life

So a couple of weeks ago I jumped on the Weight Watcher's bandwagon. I decided it was far past time for me to do something about my weight. Yes, 'my' I possess it or rather it possess me. I decided that when I started to loath family events, refused friendly get togethers that it was time to change something. Okay perhaps loath is too strong a word but worry, despair, embarrassed. Those are appropriate words. I have done Weight Watcher's before and was moderately successful. So here is to a second try.

I tried Metafast first. I think it could be a good program. I was enamored by it and I even coerced a friend into trying it (who was very successful at it by the way) but I just could not stand the bland food. Give me some flava' please. I liked the flavored water, even when I found out it was packed with caffeine (Yea, I know that was probably why I liked it so much). But the program just did not work for me. I felt hungry all the time and the food I did eat was yucky.

So on to Weight Watchers. So far so good. I have lost 5 pounds. I am pretty excited about that and it motivates me to keep at it. I am connected by the hip (or the tips of my fingers rather) to the computer so I check the points on everything. I'll think to myself, hmm really how much could a Blizzard cost me. Yea. I took one look at the amount of points I would loose for a Reece's Blizzard and decided I would probably never have one again. There are so many things I would rather ingest, for less points and would probably keep me far more satisfied. Even Sam is getting into the whole points thing. When I eat anything he'll say, is that in your points. Most of the time I think it is cute and helpful. It is only when it isn't within my points that I get a bit frustrated that he asked. He has been very supportive and encourages me to work out. That or play Wii but he does try to be supportive.

So the journey has begun. I have tried this journey before and lost but I think it is because I tried doing it alone. So that is why, embarrassing as it may be, I am reaching out to you my friends and family to support me in this journey. I want to be a healthy person. I don't need to be a supermodel (but honestly have you seen me? I am pretty hot!). So here I go, onward and downward.