I find it ironic that the first post after "Eternal Optimist" is about crying. My life is full of irony, I embrace it.
Some days you just need to cry. The other day was my day. I left work after breaking down and decided to pick Sam up early because that would make his day. So I go to the school office thinking I have dried my face, cleared my eyes. They send Sam down from his class and I wait for him in the hall. He takes one look at me and says, "Why are you crying?" I am not currently crying, he could at least use the past tense. Kids are so observant. I told him some days I cry. Today is one of those days. He said something like 'as long as it isn't about me go ahead'. Made me laugh.
The day did not necessarily get any better but that is not the point. The point is crying can be cathartic. Not the wailing, gnashing of teeth crying I think that just gives a person a headache. But releasing the emotion. Letting it go. Do-some-yoga kind of crying. Crying occasionally is good for the soul. The next day I woke up to the gentle sound of rain pattering on my window feeling better than I have in days. See - crying works.
Then today at work a very wise man told me "There is a difference between pondering on a problem and worrying. Pondering invites the spirit, worry weighs you down."
I liked it.
I have been a little discouraged with my weight loss goals. I try so hard and yet I seem to fail. A lot. My relationship with food is not healthy. Not to mention the fact that I don't cook. People always give me these great healthy recipes but unless I can make it in 20 minutes (or less) AND it is made of stuff that doesn't rot in the fridge it just ain't gunna happen. People, I sit at a desk ALL DAY LONG. I love my job but sometimes I just want to throw the computer across the room and flea. But these are just excuses. I know that.
You know what grates? My boss is doing weight watches with his wife. He hardly even tries. He only watches his points because his wife makes him report and he has lost over 20 pounds. He needs to buy new suits he has lost so much weight. I know it is unwise to compare myself with anyones weight loss let alone a man because they loose weight faster and easier but come on. He isn't even trying!
But I am not giving up, failure is not an option. The funny thing is I have tried in the past to loose weight but I kept my goals very close to myself for one reason and one reason only. I hate to fail. So telling people about my goals has been difficult but good. I am not kidding. Failure is not an option.
5 comments:
Aimee and I found an app on our itouch/iphones but it can also be done online. http://loseit.com I have always been unsuccessful in trying to lose weight hence the elephant I am now. But I started this last thursday and I am down 7.8 lbs. Aimee is about the same. You put in your age, height, weight and amount you want to loose. It will give you a daily limit of calories you can eat and the date of completion if you stay in under that limit. If you exercise at all then you log that and it adjusts the amount of calories that you can eat for the day. In one week my completion date has been moved up a month as my daily caloric intake as lowered with the weight loss. It's free. It's easier then I would have ever expected. And you can have friends on there. Having Aimee and some other people on there is helping me with accountability. For me it's been a big deal to see results right away. I haven't even done much exercise. I walk when I can. We have wii fit at home and I try to do that for about 10-15 minutes a day. I've found that I really can eat anything I want.. I just have to decide if it's worth it while watching the calories. Aimee and I found some yummy skinny cow and weight watchers ice cream treats that we keep in our freezer. We have several choices with the most being 150 calories. It's what I look forward to every day. After the kids go to bed to be able to have my ice cream at night. I love you cousin. You really are inspiring to me.
Thanks Sus! I love skinny cow, my new most favorite treat. I am joining a 'game' called Game On with some friends from my mission. It sounds similiar but different to the loseit.com thing. It will be fun to do it together! Sounds like you are doing great 7.8 pounds is awesome! Keep up the good work.
Just do baby steps every day and then and the end of the year you will have taken many many steps in the direction of where you wanted to be. I tell that to myself all the time so we will do it together. I also bought a big bag of baby carrots and when I'm super hungry I eat ten or so of them and it seems to help!! Keep up the good work..
I am so glad to know that you are human! I was just telling Brennan (after he met up with you for a quick chat) that you are one of the mot positive people I know and you just amaze me! While I still believe this to be true - I now know that you are also real!! I love you Liz! I think I don't release emotion often enough - I'm with you, sometimes a good cry is very healing.
I haven't stopped by in awhile...
But, Hello! I enjoy your book selections on good reads, and wanted to wish you all the best in your weight loss goals. I did calorie counting, and it really empowered me to see that I could loose the weight, SLOWLY but surely if I counted.
I have an addiction to brownies and chocolate myself. It was amazing to see eating food as a choice that could be planned, rather than some sort of out of control experience.
It took me about 6 months to loose 20#. And now it's been 8 months of figuring out how to maintain without counting calories every day. I weigh in every week, and if I go above a certain number, then I have to count calories again!
Anyhow, best wishes as you work for this goal!
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